i'd join this swap if...newbie friendly

i'd join this swap if i hadn't already stolen the swap ides, and then recycled the swap

I'd join this swap if ...

I could cover it in rich milk chocolate and fresh roasted pecans.

I'd join this swap if @KYCrafter s comment didn't make me mildly unsettled.

I would join if postage wasn't so expensive!

I'd join this swap if @draco wasn't hosting ,because she does not give free gifts of unicorn milkshakes

I'd join this swap if it was USA only..

I'd join this swap if a herd of goats I was keeping in my backyard hadn't smashed through my windows and eaten all the keys off my computer.

I'd join this swap if so many people didn't leave comments.

I'd join this swap if my cat would get off my lap.

I'd join this swap if I could get motivated to finish my assignments first!

I'd join this swap if you could move the due date out by a month because I'm going on vacation.

I'd join this swap if I wasn't an elve in Middle Earth where they don't have swapbot. :(

I would join this swap, if it would be a private swap and the password would be: elephant poo!

Id join this swap if i didnt have to fit so much meat in the freezer. Maybe i could freeze this swap and defreeze the swap and join when my dashboard is not so busy

I'd join this swap if, the pixies had not taken all my lap top leads and made reins out of them for the kelpies in the pond, and used the keys as mounting blocks, and if it was free, and not so expensive. I'm not made of money!

I'd join this swap if I didn't hate marshmallows so much!

I'd sign up if people were less demanding in the comments. Why do you guys want to change this swap so much? smh :(

I'd join this swap if it involved donuts - and maybe chocolate milk too.

I'd join this swap if you would post the coordinates so I can find it on GPS

I'd join this swap if it came with a free unicorn. No? Oh, well, never mind then... ;)

I'd join this swap if I wasn't a newbie, had a rating of 6. 9 or above and since my first born is going to be 39 this year, I don't think he would agree to be given up... I will try yet again... 😀

I'd join this swap if I got paid a lot of money for it!

I'd join this swap but I can't seem to get my cat into a closed box so I can ship her overseas.

A snarky comment about how you can make this swap better so I would join, well that would depend on if you would understand me being snarky...😜!!! If so, then this swap would be sooo much better if all of the comments above me were deleted. 😋

I would join this swap only if it was guaranteed that my partners would post new unopened comments from smoke-free homes, with a minimum value of $5 or more.

I'd join this swap if it came with free pizza.

I'd join this swap (only) if it wouldn't let me in - it doesn't show that it's an exclusive swap when it will allow any old riff-raff (such as me) to join! Oh, and I'd definitely join this swap if it would permanently guarantee me my own time zone, with 6 extra hours per day during the summer and spring months, and 8 extra hours during the winter and autumn months. I need those hours because that's how long it's going to take me to read all of the comments, now that these great swaps are making a comeback!! Peace out ...=^oo^=

I'd join this swap if ...

it would guarantee that the fat on my body would shift to the parts that would benefit from it!

I'd join this swap if @ladyofunicorns would send me one of her Schrödinger's cats. But as a vegan, I need proof that he's alive in there.

I'd join this swap if I hadn't just stepped on my George Foreman grill next to my bed. I can't be the only one that likes waking up to the smell of bacon!

Come on now, no one has started the unicorn theme yet?!? I will only join if my partner reads my profile, writes it out in calligraphy and then sends it in a pink envelope with unicorn farts trapped inside. Or better yet, just include the unicorn!

I'd join this swap if I didn't know joining ONE more swap forces me to join a SAA group...Swap-bot Addiction Association!! Those meetings will eat into my crafting hours!

I'd so join this swap if everyone wasn't so freakin' RUDE!!!!! :-D

I'd join this swap if everyone rips open a tea bag, throws it in the air and screams BOSTON TEA PARTY!

I'd join this swap if my internet was faster. It's currently powered by 2 hamsters on a wheel, and one of them has a gimpy leg, so when he's not running as fast as the other, it throws the whole thing off and I can barely load the page.

I'd join this swap if I wasn't afraid I'd get rated unfairly. This thought has tortured me and become the demon that I now I have to illustrate for the "Group GASP illustrate your demon swap" http://www.swap-bot.com/swap/show/230305

I'd join this swap if someone posts a recipe for delicious peanut-butter bread (none of that lazy peanut butter ON bread nonsense)~

I'd join this swap because shy bairns get nowt !

i'd join this swap only if everyone sends me this...

I'd join this swap if @NTEOWL 's comment didn't make me laugh out loud!

i'd join this swap, but since i'm hosting it, i've changed my mind...and where's the farting unicorns???

I would join this swap if the host could clarify exactly what a unicorn fart should smell like. I would not want to get rated a 3 cause my unicorn farts dont meet the swap standards. BTW, my unicorn's farts smell like Candy corn right now. Sometimes I have noticed they smell like bacon, but that is rare and usually around the same time that my George Foreman Grill comes up missing. I am just saying.

I'd join this swap if they sent me puppies... all the puppies :) and a big house to put em in hahaha

marco

I'd join this swap if it were USA only. All these comments are going to be too expensive and the postmaster is going to be cross with me when he sees unicorn farts on the customs form. I don't have enough ink to fill out the long customs form.

polo

@midwestkiwi maybe we should consider organizing a Pinterest unicorn fart swap and just skip this one.

Oh mylantis, there already are all kinds of unicorn fart pins on pinterest

https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=unicorn%20farts&rs=typed&termmeta[]=unicorn%7Ctyped&termmeta[]=farts%7Ctyped

I'd join this swap if it was dog friendly. Dogs love to receive mail.

I'd joint this swap but I joined last time around and all I got was a rating and snarky comment. I guess though I'll join again despite all the effort and money it takes to complete this swap. I want fluffy kittens, ice cream and unicorns but you can keep the farts. Maybe a few of dracos bills too.

I would join this swap if my pet dust bunnies would let me. But they say I should only do it if I get to star in a reality show with them and my pet Yeti!

I would join this swap if @riverwatcher would send me her Schrödinger's dust bunnies. I don't want the cat anymore, sorry @ladyofunicorns

I would join this swap if it weren't for the fact that the voices in my head are really snarky and just told me that I can't afford to give my two cents!

P.S. @draco this swap would be a lot better if it came with Xanax. Then perhaps my voices would shush up for 10mins!!

I'd join this swap if you made the minimum rating requirement at least a 4.99. I don't feel comfortable joining a swap with less than that minimum requirement unless the host is willing to angel. It is common courtesy for the host to at least offer to angel!!! Maybe you need to read through the hosting etiquette in the forums...

:)

i'd join this swap, but my pet rock isn't feeling well, i think it's stoned

and i'm too busy trying to teach my dog to meow, and it's my parakeet's bowling night

Ég myndi taka þátt í þessu skipti, en ég skipti ekki við jarðarbúa

i'd join this swap, but i don't swap with earthlings

I'd join this swap if there wasn't so many fun and entertaining comments to read, because it's effort.

On second thought I would join this swap if I wasn't too lazy to read everything :)

I would join if I knew what unicorn farts smell like, because I'm getting too curious and it's bugging me!

I'd join this swap if it came with a free hand massage. Writing all these letters sure can be tiring!

I would join this swap if the ghosts would stop rearranging the keys on my computer.

@shinnyseirra you are right the host is just letting anyone in, no rating requirement. AND for an electronical swap. Does the host not have any idea how high my electric bill is in Arizona is this heat? I am reconsidering my cost and commitment to this swap.

Good catch there shinny!!!

I'd join this swap if....it was from Channing Tatum holding a German chocolate cake while not wearing a shirt on a beach....

I'd join this swap...if there weren't so many unicorn freaks!

I'd join this swap if there weren't 17 flakers among us...you know who you are!!!

I'd join this swap if all 9 people watching us would join in the fun! I feel eyes all around me! STOP STARING AT ME

I would join this swap, but @shinyserra posted my thought already....all those eyes looking....are they stalking us? Why are they watching and not joining?

I would join this swap, but @shinyserra posted my thought already....all those eyes looking....are they stalking us? Why are they watching and not joining?

And now swap-bot is acting funny.....posting my comment twice. What's going on? Is it the black helicopters, men in black suits and sunglasses? Or is it the aliens? Bigfoot? Loch Ness Monster? Ooo..and they are STILL watching....

I'd Join this swap if it would turn Trump into unicorn poo.

I'd join this swap if only host would address all the issues posted in comments here. I don't join swaps with hosts that ignore their swaps!

@OonaWingedWolf ..... WHY isnt unicorn poo a good thing? Maybe something else. See the problem with your idea is Trump then becomes a HIGHER life form. My apologies to both Trump and Clinton supporters alike. In all fairness I guess we need equal bashing time for Hilary... Hmmm gee Hilary get a new hair cut.

I'd join this swap if..if it was unicorn kisses instead of mouse poop on the bottom of my package. Than the sender say the magic postal people opened up the package and put the poop in there.

My pet rock stoned? That is seriously the funniest thing on here!

I'd join this swap if I didn't have such a headache from listening to the presidential debate!

YES! PBCQUILTERLOVER. Oh I should yell you have a headache.

I would join if we only had 1 partner each, 5 requires too much socializing!

I would join this swap if the host would check in more...

MARCO!

I would join this swap if only there was more time to create my snarky comments. Sometimes it takes days for me to create one.

I'd join this swap ........if it hadn't taken POLITICAL turn,because everyone needs to vote for me.

I'd join this swap ........if it hadn't taken POLITICAL turn,because everyone needs to vote for me.

I'd join this swap ........if it hadn't taken POLITICAL turn,because everyone needs to vote for me.

I'd join this swap if @luv2kraft would not post her comment 3 times in a row. It's giving me Deja Vu!

I would join this swap if I could type the comments with my toes! That would be so much cooler, My toes have always had better comments then my fingers!

I'd join this swap...if it wasn't so expensive to wait on getting matched..Depends are expensive, you know!

I'd join this swap if someone could confirm that it is gluten, dairy and soy free...

i'd join this swap if there were more pictures to look at

i'd join, but i'm dealing with these b*tches...

polo

I'd join this swap if I knew where 2 Pac Shakur was.

I would join this swap if it didn't require deja vu.

I join this swap if it had a poke STOP, or GYM, this swap is so 1990s

Ooch mach linga flinka rootu hooch banka Klingmooch-ka ( translated: I'd join this swap if I spoke other then Klingon )

I would jion this swap if it would stop raining

I would join this swap if i didnt have to stay in bed and read All these comments and was late for work and had to explain to my supervisor why I'm late.

I would this swap if after reading all the comments and writing my own, remember to hit the Join button

Id join this swap if..... If my pet kangaroo would just stop stealing my embellishments and glitter.

I'd join this swap if it would give me enough ratings to join more (non newbie friendly) swaps!

I'd join this swap if I could put the Pringles can down. Once you POP, you REALLY can't stop! lol

Marco

POLO!

You are all cracking me up!! Thanks

You know I would join this swap if I had a better phone, I only have an iphone 4, (mainly cause I have not broken it in 5 years, like hubby and kids), But because I have an iphone 4, I cant get this swap to load properly. It is so 2010, the phone. (otter box doesnt even have in stock cases for the iphone 4 anymore< I called) Maybe a go fund me is in order.

I'd join this swap but I'm out of unicorn poop for the moment

I'd join this swap but I'm busy packaging up a order of unicorn poop for @popcore

I'd join this swap if....it weren't so dumb.

lol @Rimbar too funny!

I'd join this swap except that Scotty beamed me a board and I'm using it to patch the chicken coop.

I'd join this swap but I'm having trouble keeping up with all the snarky comments, unicorn fart references, and talk of patching the chicken coop. Plus it's pretty expensive and time consuming and who needs that in their life??

I'd join this swap if all the comments would be in Dutch, so I don't have to translate everything in my head.

I'd join, but I just watched the latest episode of American Horror Story Roanoak & I am very disturbed.

I'd join this swap if I could cover every inch of it in glitter and them forget to add a note with the swap name and my username.

I'd join this swap if the host would have revealed the secret trick to finding your partner's comments easily; pressing Ctrl and F5 together, then typing in (part of) their username!

I'd join this swap if my mind hadn't just been blown by @Sammoning

I'd join this swap if there was more than one partner. One partner is not enough to satisfy me.

I'd join this swap if I could read the description properly.

I would join this swap if my evil twin didn't have diarrhea all the time

i'd join this swap if I didn't have anything to do at work on Friday just like today

I'd join this swap if it was a lengthy letter on ceiling cat vs basement cat. I see a lack of cats, therefor I am disappoint.

I'd join this swap if I remembered what this swap was about because I'm too busy reading all the hilarious and somewhat disturbing comments and forgot.

I'd join this swap if........ It was toilet paper roll albums.Instead all I got was this lousy t shirt.

I'd join this swap If each person here would send me $5 all in pennies .P.O. Box 704........Floresville,Tx .78114 USA

I'd join this swap, but there are still 9 watchers stalking this swap. They are still creeping me out by watching and not joining. They MUST be aliens....according to the TV show Ancient Aliens

@luv2craft I'd join this swap if I could send you the $5 in pennies through Paypal 1 penny at a time. The postage to snail mail to you would probably be more that the $5 I'm sending.

I'd join this swap if you can guarantee that I won't get poop...unicorn, mouse or any other poop. According to the infomercial "Do You Poop Enough?" that I landed on last night, I already have enough poop and do not need any more. I live in a rural area and have a septic system. Anymore poop and I'll have to get it pumped out more often. (And how often can someone say poop on this swap?)

@institches here are some more "poop" for you

mut, Poef, أنبوب, տխմար, yut, Pedriza, мардаваць, গুলি চালানো, krma, мухльо, popa, 船尾, Dunette, lodní záď, achterschip, kako, ahter, tae, caca, tombadilho, πρύμνη, જહાજનો પાછલો ભાગ, poupou, קקי, गोली चलाने की आवाज़, quav, tat, kúkur, lem, buritan, cacca, うんち, pawarto, ಪೂಪ್, Юта, លាមក, 고물, puppis, kuģa pakaļgals, Kakutis, Kamen, измет, tahi, ħmieġ, गांड, баас, पूप, bæsj, قورت دادن, rufa, cocô, rahat, изнурять, уморити, වන්නටය, lodné zadok, kakec, saxaro, mierda, kinyesi, bajs, கப்பலின் பிற்பகுதி, คนเซ่อ, bok, Kaka, виснажувати, phần sau lái tàu, פּופּ,

Seriously you watchers, What the HECK? Are you worried you might get assigned to a flaker and not get your snarky comment?

Or are you worried you might be too busy to complete the swap? Postage an issue? Try go fund me? Seriously. The paranoid in the group are going to drop out cause you watchers.

marco

Polo

I'd join this swap...

but you didn't explain the word "sarcastic".

@institches I think it IS aliens. I'd join this swap if Mulder and Scully would come check it out for us...

@draco I'd join this swap if I could stop laughing at the 7 Witches of Menopause picture you posted.

I would join this swap if my hubby would give me an attitude adjustment.

I'd join this swap if somebody would tell me how to post pictures in the comments.

I'd join this swap if this wasn't the last day that Netflix had Psych on their list and I wasn't having a breakdown knowing that I won't be able to see Gus and Shawn anytime I want anymore!

I'd join this swap if ...

I could find my Super Hero cape of sarcasm. I can't remember if I left it at the Super Party last Friday. Or, did I trade it in for a Cone of Silence?

Can anybody out there hear me?

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

I'd join this swap if all sane people were banned from joining. Sane people are scary. What's wrong with them???? Thankfully it appears none have joined so I feel safe and right at home with all of you.

This swap would be so much better if all the comments about people watching hadn't put the song Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell in my head.

I'd join this swap if I hadn't just traumatized myself by remembering I use to like that song. And still remember the words to it !!!!!

8 watchers now. Lets, 99 bottles of beer.. I mean 8 watchers on swap-bot, you take one down, pass it around 7 watchers on swap-bot....well not to catchy is it?

I'd join this swap if ...

I could do it with a positive attitude. Luckily sarcasm stepped in and saved the day.

I would join this swap but I just bought a cd from Amazon and am having trouble downloading it. Curses!!! Why do they have to keep messing with how things are done? Haven't they ever learned that if it's not broke don't fix it yet !?!?! Curses!!!!

I'd join this swap if I wasn't enjoying a glass of champagne right now, watching the AFL grand final here in Australia!

I'd join this swap if @draco had not forgotten to add the good ol' American "dodo" to her list of poop.What are you? prejudice? or sumin'?

RABBITS!!

I'd swap of my kids actually listened and behaved and I still had hair on my head.

I'd join if my dog would actually let me eat a meal by myself

I'd join this swap if it wasn't so hard to sign on swap-bot all the blinky ads are stopping my PC lol. Also my cats take issue thats it's not cat only but then they can be jerks so its okay.

I would've joined this swap sooner, but I was waiting to see how long it would bother people that I was just watching.

I'd join this swap if I can comment first and then join.

becauuuuuuuse....I definitely commented first and then joined

shrugs shoulders

I would join this swap if...

I could get to the comment box but it's impossible because I'm stuck in unicorn poop, unicorn farts, chicken poop, mouse poop, a pack of dogs and cats, and the pocket of a pet kangaroo...

...and if I could get up off the floor from laughing so hard at the comments about the watchers... especially :

((AZmom875 09/30/2016 # Seriously you watchers, What the HECK? Are you worried you might get assigned to a flaker and not get your snarky comment?

Or are you worried you might be too busy to complete the swap? Postage an issue? Try go fund me? Seriously. ))

Great swap. Thanks for the laugh!!!

I almost forgot to join...lol

i'd join this swap if i wasn't hosting it, and if it wasn't in the #1 spot.

i'd join this swap, but, they're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me...oh, s*it, they're here...HIDE ME!!!

i'd join this swap, but i haven't had my 5 gallons of coffee yet...

and @RedneckGeek81 ..

i'll ass the artners when i get back from my "date". how do you like my picture?

I would join this swap if I could see your biggest Artistic Mess you ever made. One that could not be fixed no matter how hard you tried. And you would have to post a photo of it.

I am not sure what is more disturbing about the turtle, the mammary glands on a reptile, or that the turtle is smoking a cigarette. The high heels and jewelry I understand. Common among the alternative lifestyle turtles, I have known.

Id join this swap if @draco hadn't just commented "ass the artners". I almost spit pop out of my nose I was laughing so hard. And also if @draco hadn't intrigued me by putting "date" in quotation marks. Is it a date or is it not a date? Inquiring minds want to know.

@shinyserra keep wondering, and i'm not telling how much $$$ i made last night on my "date(s)"

Ugh.. I'd join this swap if I hadn't just spent 30 mins searching for my partners comments to only realize that I am not rating my SEND to partners... Only my SEND FROM partners. Not I have to start all over again. :P

OK, that turtle is just plain disturbing

I would re-join this swap if i (1) knew how to locate my partners and (2) knew how to rate them. Anyone want to help a newbie?

aligurl75 - I did the same thing!

So sad this over. Now to get a pooper scooper for all that unicorn poo.

@mackeyswaps I hope you found out how to see partners and rate by now.. its in the top right box!